digiSal.com Forums About Nothing
General => Poetry / Writing => Topic started by: stacy on August 17, 2002, 08:45:35 am
-
Here is one of my poems. Tell me what you think.
"Soul Thief"
I feel a pain,
a hurt inside.
An emptiness
I cannot hide.
I used to keep
feelings bottled inside.
They burned and they churned,
I felt like I died.
I still feel dead
walking around.
I try to scream
but cannot make a sound.
My breath is shut off
I have been silenced.
By a single act,
an act of violence.
I feel filthy.
I am not clean.
He has hurt me.
He was mean.
I begged him to stop,
but he said no.
He's broken me,
he brought me down low.
My suffering is not solely
contained within.
It's now on the outside,
brought out by him.
My pain is not evident,
not seen to everyone.
But look in my eyes:
I've been shot by a gun.
My eyes fill with tears,
I want to cry.
If not yet,
soon I will die.
I opened my soul.
I let him look in.
He raped my heart
and made me sin.
He took away
all joy that I had.
He has confused me
and made me sad.
I am alone,
alone and confused.
Now I can see
that I have been used.
Can you see
the hurt inside?
Do I show it
on my outside?
How can I show you
what I feel?
How do I explain,
when I don't know what's real?
How do words tell
the pain you've caused me?
Why don't you know?
Why don't you see?
You're looking at me.
You don't understand.
You abuse and you use:
you're just being a "man".
Now I feel like
less and less.
I am small.
I am useless.
I've been hurt
by men before.
Here again.
Why didn't I see what was in store?
I was naive,
stupid and small.
I should have known.
Now I fall.
I am sinking and dropping,
drowning am I,
my life taken away...
now I die.
-
Wow, very sad.
I'm not big on poetry, but I love pure expression in all art forms, and you put it out there. Very cool
-
ah, to sad!
i love it though.... like Gary said, you really put it out there.
i could never do that.
-
this is nice. I like the fact that you put it out there. I know you feel better now cause I tried to do the same thing. ;D ;D Life is full of pain.
-
Stacy, I liked your poem. I can't rhyme worth flip and as much as I try, my poems aren't all that long. I admire that.
I think that a lot of women have been where you are or were, and I can feel your pain. I have past the hurt stage though and on to another. The following is what I wrote.
Dear Partner,
I am falling.
And you are growing farther away.
Peace is lightly weighing my body down,
And I am contently drowning.
Deeper and deeper into the depths of my imagination...
The music.
The beauty.
I hunger to be alone.
No one can touch me here!
My heart,
My soul.
They are mine!
No more!
My scars have been left to mend.
The stitches are tight.
And I have grown claws and fangs.
Try to come close,
And I will leave my mark.
You placed me in a glarse-cubed world.
To use me.
To stare at me.
But, you have forgotten.
I can adapt.
I can hide.
I can evolve into your nightmares.
You became a healed wound.
My past.
And I, a reoccurring fear.
Your future.
YOU ... created ME!
Always yours,
Your Enemy
-
Sounds like a Country Song......just kidding ......thats so Cool but yet so sad. I wish i could write poetry I hear its the way to a Womens Heart [smiley=guitarist.gif]
hey Jay loves these new Smileys....im going nuts here.
" Kill'em All " [smiley=bigun2.gif]
-
its a great Poem and i like it a lot. i hadnt replied because it is always hard for me to express how much i like something without sounding cheezy.
to me this poem is about a Vampire guy who turned the girl he loved in mortality into what he was now, a vampire, because maybe she was already dying in real life. But maybe this wasnt the best idea. They fell apart. He was to controlling. So she left him somehow. And maybe she wants revenge for all the horrible things he has done to her. She is his worst enemy.
i dont know.
this is just what the Poem gave to me. [smiley=huh2.gif]
-
Sounds like a Country Song......just kidding ......thats so Cool but yet so sad. I wish i could write poetry I hear its the way to a Womens Heart [smiley=guitarist.gif]
[smiley=bigun2.gif]
you are RIGHT, it is a way to some women's heart. ;D You can start by telling a woman how you feel, then maybe later jotting them on paper. What do ya thing? :)
-
its a great Poem and i like it a lot. i hadnt replied because it is always hard for me to express how much i like something without sounding cheezy.
to me this poem is about a Vampire guy who turned the girl he loved in mortality into what he was now, a vampire, because maybe she was already dying in real life. But maybe this wasnt the best idea. They fell apart. He was to controlling. So she left him somehow. And maybe she wants revenge for all the horrible things he has done to her. She is his worst enemy.
i dont know.
this is just what the Poem gave to me. [smiley=huh2.gif]
Well, Sal, ... :) I am glad you liked it. Poetry is like a piece of art or sculptor. There isn't a wrong or right answer to anyones interpretation. (Even if they feel it is like a country song.) ;)
By the way, I LOVE your website. It beats the "crowded" 101x boards.
aka smallgiant :-*
-
aka smallgiant :-*
A HA!!
how good of you to be here!! i was wondering where you came from. So many have registered but none came back!!
when we going to dance again!? [smiley=jester.gif]
-
I loved it, it had parseion a real emotion in this world ...
For thee I say sweet dreamer...
Dream on for your dreams will shape our lifes.
Oooh sweet dreamer dream of love on an endless night
For dreams of happyness and love is what in your future lays....
For pain of love time will heal,
Dry your tears oh sweet dreamer
For alone you are not in this quest for....
Oh so sweet sweet love!
I hope you all like this and take it in consideration for your future. For we all don't live long but we can live happy and in the arms of the people we love. ;)
-
For thee I say sweet dreamer...
Dream on for your dreams will shape our lifes.
Oooh sweet dreamer dream of love on an endless night
For dreams of happyness and love is what in your future lays....
For pain of love time will heal,
Dry your tears oh sweet dreamer
For alone you are not in this quest for....
Oh so sweet sweet love!
damn, that is awesome. i got chills.
great poem! [smiley=beam.gif]
-
For your love I would die...
this are the word I would always hear and today I wonder if they were true.
For your love I would die...
this are the words that I would always hear when I...
would ask how much you love me.
would wonder how life would be for us.
Now that you left
I understand ....
Words are Words and the get erase in the wind
-
A HA!!
when we going to dance again!? [smiley=jester.gif]
Just say when and where and I will be there. ;D
-
For your love I would die...
this are the word I would always hear and today I wonder if they were true.
For your love I would die...
this are the words that I would always hear when I...
would ask how much you love me.
would wonder how life would be for us.
Now that you left
I understand ....
Words are Words and the get erase in the wind
wow. i love your poems. i can only write out of being hurt. yours are so positive, well other than dying but ... it is romantic. ;)
-
I'm glad that you like them, after all they are there for everyone and any one that wants to read them.
All poetry that comes from true emotions is a great poem for it tells a tell, a tell of...
Pain
Sadness
Torn hearts
Rage
Love
Happyness
and other things that create feeling in which people find themselves an other whom to share this...
Death
Birth
Nature
Thank you for been intrested and fro writting,
thank you
-
I know EXACTLY how you feel. GREAT piece.